Know What's Awesome?!!

uno- spilling your Benadryl/generic dephenhydramine bottle all over the bottom of your purse, where there are pennies and coin and string hanging around.

doso- picking the pennies and coin and string out of the pile of benadryl tabs in your hand before you put them back in the bottle because you are broke and are not gonna buy another bottle.

tesay-movies that give me vertigo

quatro-minatro-movies that give me vertigo and are stupid. movies that have about a five-to-six minute long "Muslims are people too" montage

cinco- casual dialogue among the two stars in the movie about basketball so as to show their roots and approachability. extra awesomeness when either shack or Kokey is called a "hater" by the more ethnic and therefore more "real" star.

шесть- missing about 20 minutes to hanging out in the bathroom, ready for puking from vertigo and generally getting head back together

seben- coming back to movie after about 20 minutes and having the sense that I didn't miss anything. extra points for having the "baaaaad American ambassador guy" pop up, look sick at the sight of the dead bodies (which was SOOOOO FUNNY LOLZ) and be a meanie to the main characters by like, representing the asshat politicians that somewhat started the whole template for the plot in the first place.


ocho- fight scene with main actor girl. ooooh and bonus points for life for the knife-to-the-crotch fight ender. take that! patriarchy!

devyat- dumbass MoVal audience applauding main actor girl as fight ends. Not when the fight ended, nor when she got all gender-paradigm-conscious on us, but the few more scenes in between where guy is already dead and she keeps stabbing him. Like, in the back of the skull and such.

decem- how easy it was to throw in that knife-to-the-crotch scene; not just because the girl really didn't do any other up-close fighting, and the "Stupid white guy who's so stupid he was able to get on the mission in the first place even though no one likes him and he's NEVER useful" character was looking kinda good from fighting as best he could once he had to, but because as soon as you think that that's pretty fucked up (I would imagine a gut-cut would be worse maybe although less 'cool'? *shrug*) you can think back to nothing in the movie, at all, but the vague news stories you hear about how shitty they treat their women. take that! actually-fucked-up-patriarchy!

undecim- the ending line, equating "Us" with "Them."

zwölf- realizing that some members of the clapping audience probably Need an ending like that.
tredecim- going to imdb to look up the movie and reading a summary of some show called "Dexter" on a cable station. Looks...not so much a bad show, but a show that isn't good.

Totally awesome.