I Am Exhausted and Don't Like You

My sister-in-law relative (as opposed to any of the "fucking shit these people exist!?" relatives) called me last night. What do I want for my buh-buh-burfday coming up, what Chis'mus gifs do I want-I guess I might as well...and gawd Amazon needs to change the pictures of stupid broads on its main page. I am so sick of "my family didn't move the border moved geopolitics lol!" I want to see like...explosions. Or pictures from badass earthquakes in black and white.

What was it...oh yeah. I don't...I realized this morning after maybe-high-C-ing a midterm why my in-law and brother's family's holiday celebration always bug the hell out of me. No, not Christmas or Thanksgiving, but Holiday. Not only that all I do is just sit there, watching everyone tell each other stories of how their dog barks and has fat legs or O God the election (my tinfoil hats are pretty obvious to them), this time around I can have the excuse of "I have to read, it's for school" and not insult anyone, but the way that they all go about buying each other gifts.

Lists. They make lists together, and then go buy it. They know exactly what to get everyone, and everyone else knows exactly what to get them. It's so boring to listen to them talk about buying crap. No wondering "gah, I hope they think this is junk so I can have it" or "man so and so will shit their face when they see this." Oh well. Perhaps they do shit their face, just in a way that I don't recognize.

In other news.

Being in school is actually... Actually going. I'm not getting sleep, drinking way too much starbucky cans, and only occassionally talk to Riley on the phone until he's rambling about something and I'm wondering with my eyes closed whether I had just said outloud what's in my head or not. But stuff is getting done.

Essays are getting turned in. Midterms are done the night before they're due (story of this post's title) with only small corrections made. In-class midterms are not...eh. They're not As, but since it's Geology there's at least the modicum of being able to think through the questions to answer. I guess like having something to translate and while you don't know the exact vocabulary, you can figure from the shape of the bound morphemes what's going on. Plus the TA being ridiculously smart and patient and dayum fah-hine doesn't hurt.

Not all is super. I have two 12-15 page papers due by the end of the quarter. One I'm freaking over because I don't have a theme or thesis yet, just simply been reading on the Anabaptist kingdom in Munster (they are dumb muthafuckers).

The other is ethnic studies and I'm pissed 'cause I know that I can't go to my professor to ask him for ideas because he doesn't have any. So far I think I want to just go for a boring point-by-as-many-points-as-I-need-to-fill-up-space analysis of the debates between Booker T. Washington and WEB duBois (also a dumb muthafucker at times) and how they reflected the ideas in one of the few readable articles in the course. If there is a way I can try to argue Uncle-Tom-ism in both people I'd rather do that; but I'm not sure if that would count as "doable."

In conclusion, these stupid azzzzzzns in the computer desk right next to me in this library won't shut up. So I'm leaving.